I Open at the Close
by SepticLovebite
Summary: She didn't want to die with regrets.


Author's Notes:

So, Bsparrow and I decided to give each other a prompt on Tumblr. Mine was "Carol goes to Daryl, the night before they go to war, intending to say everything she hasn't said, just in case."

* * *

She'd waited hours for Merle to leave Daryl's cell. The two had been holed up there for the best part of the afternoon, barely taking a break for dinner before going back up there for the rest of the evening.

She'd almost interrupted them, more than once. They hadn't been getting on much, that was clear. The tone of their voices cutting right through the concrete, angry and frustrated. Seemed like Merle was not so happy about enlisting in the "war effort" as she'd heard him call it.

There had even been scuffling overhead, the thump of someone hitting a wall, but as soon as the violence had started it, it had ended, with Merle, stomping off into another cell.

Carol had waited then, for the whole block to quieten down some, because it had taken her months to even consider getting to this point. To tell Daryl the things she wanted to tell him. And now the thought of one or both of them dying in a gun fight, without ever telling him the things that were important, it was unbearable.

So she summoned all the courage she possessed, took a deep breath, before taking the metal staircase slowly, mindfully of the noise of her boots on the floor.

He knew she was coming, was already watching the door when she stepped into the frame. His new bow was in front of him and he was wiping his grease rag over the top of it.

"Was thinkin'..." He greeted her, turning his gaze away. "Look, you should stay with Beth, tomorrow."

Ah, the same argument they'd had that morning. Daryl wanted her to stay with the baby, Beth and Hershel, squirrel themselves away on the other side of the prison, a car waiting for them if they had to run. She wanted to. She wanted to run and hide, to be cowardly and bury her head in the sand.

But she couldn't. Hadn't come all this way for that. She was confident that Beth and Hershel would be fine with Judith, if the worst came to the worst. But having one extra person manning a gun could make the difference between the group making it to see the baby again or never making it to see anything.

"No, I'm not." She gave him a pointed look, firm enough for Daryl to drop the matter.

He just shook his head, went back to wiping the bow.

"I wanted to tell you something. Before -"

"Don't go actin' like we all gonna die, alright? 'Cause you go in thinkin' that, then you may as well roll over for them." He cut her off before she could get the words out and Carol found herself beyond frustrated. It had taken all she had to get into his cell, to even begin what she was about to do and he was about to_ ruin _it.

Her firsts clenched and unclenched. "It's not about that, Daryl. There's just -"

"I mean it, Carol, you gotta see the end and it's gotta be good - "

"_Listen!_" She snapped. God, this was not how it was supposed to go. Why didn't he see she was trying to confess her _goddamn love_ for him?

He furrowed his brow, gave her a look that suggested he was confused. He did as he usually did when she confused him, turned right back to the work at hand. Then a thought occurred to her. Maybe he did know what she wanted to say. Maybe he didn't want to hear it. Couldn't deal with it. Her heart sunk.

But she couldn't leave it now. They'd come too far.

"I've never thanked you, you know." She sat on the end of his bed, folded her hands into her lap.

Daryl made a slightly strangled noise, low in his throat, his hand fumbled with the rag in his hand.

"For everything you've done for me. For Sophia."

His shoulders sagged when he heard her daughter's name. She could talk freely about her little girl now, often spoke of her to Beth and the others. But never to him. Not since the day they found her coming out of that barn, had she mentioned her name to him.

"Didn't make no difference, in the end." His voice was gruff, barely concealing the emotion she knew he felt when hearing her name.

"It made every bit of difference. To me. What you did..." She shook her head and tried to find the words. "I wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for you.

Daryl looked distinctly uncomfortable with her revelation, visibly squirming under her attention.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but you saved me, Daryl. In every way you possibly could." Carol took her deep breath, let it out shakily and looked down at her hands. Didn't want to see his reaction to her final bombshell. "And I love you for it."

He froze. She didn't need to see him to know he was completely taken aback. But she couldn't find the energy to regret it. She could die tomorrow. She didn't want to die with regrets.

"I don't want you to say anything back, you know. I just wanted to tell you." She finished lamely.

There was silence for what felt like forever. He chewed his lip, considering her words. His cheeks flushed pink and Carol gave up on getting any kind of response.

"I'll see you in the morning." She murmured, smoothing the folds in the legs of her pants and standing up. Daryl snapped to attention then, pushing the crossbow aside and scrambling to stand beside here.

"Look, you know I ain't good with this shit..." He rubbed the back of his neck, moved to stop her from walking out the cell. "Just - fuck, just know that I'd do it all again."

Carol felt a lump rising in her throat, her eyes sting and well up. Daryl looked even more alarmed.

"Shit, don't go cryin' on me." He moved his hand from his neck to grab her shoulder, massaged it roughly.

She gave a weak smile, shook her head. "I'm not, I promise." She found her courage again and lifted her hand onto his, curled her fingers over the palm that rested right between her shoulder and her neck.

"We're comin' back here, alright?" He told her firmly, squeezed her skin once more. He took a deep breath. "We're gonna talk about this again."

She looked at him questioningly.

"Gonna talk 'bout shit that needs to be said." He released her shoulder, let his hand drop back down to his side and moved out of her way.

"But - " What _did _he have to say? She wanted to hear it now, in case there wasn't another chance.

"Ain't gonna say it now. Gotta have a reason to come back, right?" His lip quirked upwards, his cheeks flushed a little pinker, if that was even possible and he turned back to the crossbow on his bed.

She stood at the doorway a moment, watched him turn his attention to his arrows. As she wondered back down to her cell, ignoring Merle who passed her on the stairway, giving her the strangest of looks, she couldn't stop the smile creeping onto her face.


End file.
